No awkward lesbian experiences without me
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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