Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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