It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize