It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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