We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
