About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize