the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
