just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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