go do what you do best...puke behind churches
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
