I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
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