There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's shark week go big or go home
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
