the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
