Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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