I only kidnapped one of them. chill
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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