so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
