do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize