Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
