apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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