You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
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