I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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