I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
