gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
