ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
