So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
