I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
