his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
