Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
