Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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