so that wasnt chicken after all
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize