You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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