Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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