yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i think my mom watched the whole time
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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