Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
