thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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