we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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