Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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