Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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