I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
