We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
