It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
