She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
