if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
