yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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