69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
