I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
