May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
