i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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