her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
no. you can't hotbox the world.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
