so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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