Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
