11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize