4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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