Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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