two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
