I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Randomize
