You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
