It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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