dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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