we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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