Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
