I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
