I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
