You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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