my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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