I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
