Are we in a gay sports bar?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
