I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
