Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
third nipple confirmed
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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