He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
