The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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