OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
