i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
