Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
