He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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