I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
