she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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