Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
